May 2013
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If...
*Man walks into a store and finds employee*
Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
Man: I never filled out an application.
Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Employee:
Man:
Employee:
Man: Fuck you, slut.
“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel...”
– Andrew Boyd (via evolution0fconsciousness)
“Once you have identified with some form of negativity, you do not want to let...”
– Eckhart Tolle (via vemt)
I’ve mastered the art of not giving a fuck while simultaneously caring way too much
im trying to be more positive *sheds electrons and becomes highly unstable*
r0yall:
if you like me i’ll literally never realize it until you tell me, “I like you” and even then I’m still not sure
gleeson666:
do you ever get into one of those situations where you’re like “I need to stop hating this particular person it’s not going to get me anywhere I’m just going to grow up and move on with my life” but then they do the tiniest thing to piss you off and then you’re like “nope fuck you right off I want to throw you off a bridge”
ricksanscrotum:
you know what totally sucks
when you realize that you like somebody way more than they like you and even if it’s in a totally platonic way it still makes you feel awful because you’re probably just annoying them and how often you think of them is probably more than creepy
but you know what totally sucks more
when you realize this is your relationship with pretty much...
giveme-brandy-onmybreath:
peetasfakeleg:
onlyeverrory:
why do teachers have such an intense hatred for wikipedia
because it does their job better than them
my history teacher used to mess with wikipedia when he gave us assignments
half my class had essays about how hitler was secretly in a relationship with stalin
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heartless:
It’s annoying when you are fucking fed up with someone’s shit but you don’t want to start something so you have to pretend like you don’t care
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hannahbeezy:
If I like you and I’m comfortable around you, I’m going to get weird.
Or I just might be drunk.
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frank-schlongbottom:
i used to think that a foot of parchment was a lot and feel bad when harry potter characters were assigned to write that much
but then i realized the paper i write on is 8.5 by 11 inches.
so a foot of parchment is the equivalent of like, not even a page and a half of paper.
they complained SO MUCH about essays that were like
a page and a half
wtf guys
get your shit...
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